howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

imessaged:

when i was younger nobody wanted to mess with me and my squad

heatoise:

*sees a dog*

me: nice

*PETS a dog*

me: NICE

rosaparking:

yes doctor i cant feel my clitoris
When your feet get wet, you don’t leave the water, you cuff your pants. Rakishi, “things my father wouldn’t say” (via creatingaquietmind)